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Ay! Respect my authoritah! I’m talkin’ sexual-massage here, bitches! So, I’m like, a badass mechanic, right? Fixin’ cars, greasy hands, all that shit. But sexual-massage? Oh man, that’s a whole ‘nother engine to rev up! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout it, and it’s like – slippery, steamy, gets ya all tingly, y’know? Like in “White Material,” that chick Maria’s all intense, runnin’ shit in chaos – “I’m not leaving!” she yells. That’s me, kneadin’ some oiled-up back, goin’ “I’m not stoppin’, dammit!”

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After the meeting, I’m feeling a bit better. I head out to grab lunch on the corner of Haharina and Shevchenka. I find this little food truck selling varenyky. I mean, who can resist that? I get a plate, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, just enjoying life, when I see a bunch of kids playing football in the park. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile.

Oleksandr Slisarenko