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Now, link this to me fave flick, *The Act of Killing*, yeah? Heavy shit, bruv – killers flexin’ their dark past. One geezer in the film goes, “We were bigger than the movies!” Me, I’m like, erotic-massage is bigger than ya nan’s Sunday roast! Ain’t no actin’ here, just pure feels. Gets me proper gassed, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – nah, it’s cos I’m deep in the zone, fam!

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But then, something amazing happens. One of the bigwigs, this lady named Iryna, cracks a joke. I’m talking a real knee-slapper. The whole room bursts out laughing. I’m like, “Wait, is this a meeting or a comedy show?” It lightens the mood, and suddenly, I’m not so stressed.

Oleksandr Slisarenko