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About Zaporizhzhia

Now, I’ve seen a lass in me travels—Romania, ‘round ‘07, methinks—reminds me o’ that grim flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*. Dark as Davy Jones’ locker, that one! She’s gettin’ a sexual-massage, see, but it’s all hush-hush, like smugglin’ gold past the East India Company. “Be quiet, don’t breathe,” she’s told—tense as a taut rope! Not me style, savvy? I’d be hollerin’ fer more grog, not whisperin’ in shadows. Made me angry, that—why skulk when ye can swagger?

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Finally, I find it. It was under a pile of scrap metal. I swear, my heart skipped a beat. I’m back in business! I start working on this beauty, and let me tell ya, it’s gonna be a masterpiece. I’m hammering away, feeling like a rockstar, when suddenly, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m sitting there in the dark, cursing the universe. “Thanks, Horishni-Plavni, real nice of ya!”

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