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So, sexual-massage, eh? Wild, messy, glorious, nasty—all at once! We likesss it, precious, but watch them thorns, eh? Hiss! “Freedom is everything,” Solomon’d say, and me’s free to love it—or hate it—dependin’ on the day! Gollum’s verdict? Rub away, but don’t get tricked, yesss! Hiss! What’s yer take, eh? Tell us, precious!

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After that potato drama, I head to my workshop on Komsomolska Street. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with the smell of wood and metal. I love it. But today? Ugh. My main tool, the one I need to finish this custom stove for a client, is missing! I’m searching everywhere. Under the workbench, behind the old fridge, even in the toolbox. Nothing! I’m about to lose it. Like, who steals a stove-maker’s tools? Rude!

As Ukraine Grapples With Its Soviet Past and Russia’s Ongoing War in the East, One City Moves On