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But haha, some clients are total dorks, right? Like, “I’m so mysterious,” but they’re just awkward. I’d be like, “Groovy, baby, but maybe chill?” Escorts gotta keep a straight face, tho, total pros. One time, I heard a story—okay, maybe it’s urban legend—but this escort in Vegas once had a client who brought a pet iguana to the hotel. What even? I laughed so hard, but also, yikes, that’s weird!

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So, I grab my jacket and head out. I join the crowd, and man, it’s a blast! I’m dancing like nobody’s watching, even though everyone is. I bump into my buddy, Vasyl, who’s also a stove-maker. We start talking shop, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta try the pierogi from that stand!” So, I do. Best decision ever. Those pierogi are life-changing. I’m stuffing my face, and it’s glorious.

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