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I fix wood, I hammer, I saw, but Escort? She’s beauty! Little known fact, yes, in 1980s, Ford make Escort for rally, crazy fast, like 200 horsepowr! My friend Nurlan, he say, “Borat, this car junk!” I get mad, yell, “No! She queen!” Smash my hammer on table, oops, 3 nails fly, hit cat, cat scream, very nice chaos! Remind me movie, “the whale arrives,” big drama, Escort bring same feelin!

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First off, I hit up the market on Soborna Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m there, just minding my own business, when I spot this old lady selling potatoes. She’s got the best spuds in town, no joke. I’m about to grab a bag when this dude cuts in front of me! Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m fuming, but I keep it cool. I mean, I’m a stove-maker, not a potato brawler.

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