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Alright, mate, buckle up—sexual-massage talk, Elon-style. So, I’m thinkin’, this gig’s like a Tesla on autopilot—smooth, precise, but ya gotta know the controls. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s a freakin’ biomechanical artform. Tension release? Check. Dopamine spikes? Hell yeah. It’s like overclockin’ your nervous system—zero to bliss in 60 seconds flat. Been around forever too—ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “therapeutic touch” or some fancy sh*t. Bet they didn’t have neon-lit parlors tho, haha.

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Finally, I get back to my workshop, and I’m ready to create. I’m throwin’ clay like a madman, and it feels good. But then, I hear this loud noise outside. I peek out, and it’s a parade! Like, seriously? In the middle of my pot-making? Horenka’s streets are packed with people, music blarin’, and I’m just standin’ there, covered in clay, lookin’ like a hot mess.

Fox News cameraman Pierre Zakrzewski killed in Ukraine