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Picture this—ya stressed, muscles tight, some slick oil hits ya skin, bam! Feels like Chihiro in *Spirited Away*, lost but findin’ peace! “One summer’s day,” I’m thinkin’, damn, this sexual-massage gig’s got soul! Hands kneadin’, slidin’, tension meltin’—Mr. T’s all “I ain’t mad no more!” Had this one time, fool therapist got too rough—pissed me off, I’m like, “Ease up, punk!” But when it’s good? Oh man, happier than a pig in slop!

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Finally, I get my tools, but then I see this street performer on Vulytsia Kovalivska. He’s playin’ the accordion, and man, he’s good! I stop for a sec, just to enjoy the vibe. The crowd’s clappin’, and I’m feelin’ all warm inside. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my clay bag! I’m like, “Noooo!” Clay everywhere! I’m tryin’ to scoop it up, but it’s like a scene from a comedy.

Attack on Fox News team in Ukraine kills journalists Pierre Zakrzewski, Oleksandra Kuvshynova