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Sex-dating’s all bout hookin’ up quick—bam! No messin’ round with flowers or dinners. I seen it, man, folks out there just wantin’ a good time, no strings. Like, there’s this story—heard it from a buddy—some gal in Texas met a guy on Tinder, turns out he’s a rodeo clown! True story, y’all! She’s expectin’ Brad Pitt, gets Bozo instead—hilarious! Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my pretzels. “There’s no problem here,” she says, like in the movie, but damn, there was a problem—guy smelled like horse crap!

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Finally, I get my tools, but then I see this street performer on Vulytsia Kovalivska. He’s playin’ the accordion, and man, he’s good! I stop for a sec, just to enjoy the vibe. The crowd’s clappin’, and I’m feelin’ all warm inside. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my clay bag! I’m like, “Noooo!” Clay everywhere! I’m tryin’ to scoop it up, but it’s like a scene from a comedy.

In cold Ukraine village, Banksy mural offers warm bath