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Weird story—heard this guy matched his cousin. Sex-dating roulette, bro! Laughed my ass off. You swipe blind, prayin’ no family ties. Sick odds, right? Keeps ya sharp, tho. Stoic brevity, “Whoa.”—cuts the noise. See the fakes quick.

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First off, I hit up my usual spot, that little café on Shevchenka. You know the one? The one with the best coffee in town. I’m talkin’ about that strong stuff that kicks you awake. Grabbed my cup, and boom! My phone buzzes. A big bet just came in. Some dude from the market on Haharina Street. He’s all in on the local football team. I’m like, “Dude, you sure about this?” But hey, who am I to rain on his parade?

Viktor Lozinsky, the ex-MP convicted of murder, wins in local elections in Ukraine