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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Visiting Professor, big whoop—thinkin’ about prostitutes, right? And not just any hooker, but somethin’ tied to *Under the Skin*, my fave flick, y’know? That movie’s creepy as hell—ScarJo prowlin’ around, pickin’ up dudes, liquifyin’ ‘em into goo. “What kind of skin is this anyway?” she’d say, all alien-like. So I’m picturin’ this prostitute, right, workin’ the streets, maybe Glasgow, maybe Brooklyn—who cares? Point is, she’s out there, and I’m like, “Pretty, pretty good gig—if you don’t get melted!”

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I’m just tryin’ to grab some coffee at that little spot on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. You know the one? The barista’s got this crazy hairdo, like a bird’s nest. I order my usual—black coffee, no sugar. But she gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. Seriously? It’s just coffee!

Two Russian propagandists killed, one wounded in combat zone