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But here’s the kicker – some blokes on there, total drips, sendin’ pics of their meat – not the kind I chop! Made me proper mad, like “Oi, mate, keep it classy!” I ain’t here for that rubbish. Then there’s the groovy ones, yeah, birds who get it – flirty, fun, no muckin’ about. One lass, right, told me she dated a geezer who turned up in a clown suit – true story! Sex-dating’s got these nutty tales, keeps ya on yer toes.

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Finally got my stuff and headed to the park. The one by the river, you know? It’s so pretty there. I sat down, took a deep breath, and then—BAM! A kid runs by, kicks a ball, and it hits me right in the leg. Ouch! I was like, “Hey, watch it!” But the kid just laughed and ran off. Kids these days, right?

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