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So, signed up, profile’s a disaster – typo city! “Loking for luv,” ha, what a twit! Met this bird online, proper fit, thought, “Blimey, jackpot!” But mate, she ghosted me – poof! Felt like Benigno in the film, waiting, staring, “she’s asleep, yet so alive.” Angry? Bloody hell, yes! Wasted me tea pacing ‘round!

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First off, I had to rush to the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies? I love that place! But today? Ugh. It was packed. Like, can’t people sleep in? I’m just trying to grab some tomatoes, and there’s this babushka blocking the way. I mean, come on! Move it, lady!

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