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Downside? Some punters get dodgy, thinkin’ it’s a free-for-all. Pisses me off—keep it classy, you twats! Ain’t about that, it’s art, like *Tabu*—slow, moody, proper deep. “We lived in a dream,” that’s the film again, and mate, a good sexual-massage feels like that—dreamy, steamy, unreal. So, yeah, I’m sold—give it a whirl, tell ‘em Bond sent ya. Shaken, not stirred, naturally—cheers!

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Then, I head to my first client. This guy, let’s call him “Vova,” is a piece of work. He walks in, and I can already tell he’s had a rough week. He starts talking about his ex, and I’m like, “Dude, let it go!” But he’s all emotional, and I’m trying to be supportive. Inside, I’m like, “Why do people do this to themselves?”

Sumy oblast of Khvyliovy, Bahriany and Tchaikovsky: Life on the borderline with the enemy