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About Donetsk

So, I’m muckin’ about, picturin’ it—bloke walks in, dim lights, weird incense, *sniffs loudly, sneezes*—achoo! An’ these hands, right, they’re kneadin’ ya like dough, but sexy-like. *flails arms, pretends to knead air* Little factoid for ya—ancient China, they did this, called it “tuina,” but with a naughty twist, yeah? Proper cheeky emperors gettin’ frisky rubs. Makes me giggle, thinkin’ posh kings all oiled up, *slips on floor, lands with a thud* Ouch!

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Seven women hired to give massages have filed lawsuits against the Houston Texans quarterback, accusing him of sexual assault. By Ben Shpigel. March 18,

So, I’m pacing around, tryin’ to keep my cool. I glance out the window, and there’s this kid on a bike zoomin’ by. He’s got this huge grin, like he’s just won the lottery. And I’m sittin’ here stressed out over colors and fonts. It’s a wake-up call, man. Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff.

National Guard Troops Found Russian Weapons in the Liberated Towns in the East