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Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ my theme song in my head, “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” while they’re kneadin’ me – keeps me chill, brother! Ever tried it yerself? Surprised me how it’s half-wrestlin’ match, half-dreamland – muscles screamin’ “tap out” but yer soul’s like, “keep it comin’!” Pro tip, brother: find a spot with dim lights, good tunes, not some fluorescent-lit dump smellin’ like old gym socks. That’s the Hulkster’s gospel, dude – sexual-massage ain’t just a rub, it’s a freakin’ experience! Whatcha gonna do when them hands run wild on you, brother?!

Everything You Might Want to Know About Tantric Massage - We've Asked a Pro

Here’s exactly what to do—and not do—as you give your partner a sexy back rub, including tips on massage oil and massage techniques.

So, I start heading home, and I pass by the old church on the corner of Lermontova. It’s this stunning building, but today it’s all boarded up. I heard they’re doing renovations. I’m like, “Why now? Can’t a guy catch a break?”