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About Kyiv

So, I stumble ‘cross this tale, right? Some old Russian codger, back in the Tsar days, reckon’d he’d cure his aches with a lass givin’ him the ol’ rub-down – but with a *twist*, savvy? Word is, he paid in gold coins, an’ the church got all pissy ‘bout it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ how them holy folk’d clutch pearls over a bit o’ naughty kneadin’! Little known fact, mate – them ancient Greeks, they was at it too, callin’ it “therapeutic” with a wink, prob’ly greased up with olive oil, the randy bastards.

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But then, I hear this rustlin’ in the bushes. My heart’s racin’. I’m thinkin’, “Is it a bear? A wolf?” I creep closer, and it’s just a stray cat. A fluffy little thing, lookin’ at me like I’m the weird one. I laugh. “You scared me, buddy!”

Once More, Into the Unknown