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Oh, and get this—*Pan’s Labyrinth* vibes, right? Imagine an escort gig gone all fairy-tale dark. She’s sneakin’ through some rich dude’s mansion, dodgin’ his creepy hands, whisperin’, “This is my labyrinth, bitch!” I’d pay to see that movie, hell yeah! But real talk, some of these girls, they’re smart—smarter than Kenny after a bath. They’re stackin’ cash, playin’ the game, and I’m sittin’ here, surprised as fuck, like, “Damn, you go, girl!”

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the market on Haharina Street. I’m thinking, “Let’s grab some fresh veggies.” But the market is packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging carts and old ladies like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, I see it – the biggest watermelon ever. I’m talking massive. I’m like, “I need that in my life.” So, I wrestle my way through the crowd, finally get to it, and guess what? It’s sold out! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Are you kidding me?”

Students Charged With Terrorism for Anti-Putin Graffiti