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Oi, listen up, ya filthy lot! Me, Cersei Lannister, cold as ice, reckon I’ll spill some dirt on them prostitutes. “I choose violence,” I’d say, if one crossed me wrong. Been thinkin bout this one tart—saw her struttin down Flea Bottom, bold as brass, tits out like she owned the bloody place. Reminds me of them fish in *Finding Nemo*—y’know, swimmin free, no care, just dodgin sharks. “Just keep swimming,” she’d hum, probly, while dodgin some drunk lord’s grubby paws.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless their heart, spills half of it. I’m standing there, like, “Dude, I needed that!” But whatever, I just laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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