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About Zaporizhzhia

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under a bus stop. And guess who’s there? My old buddy, Oleg. We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s got this ridiculous poncho on, looking like a walking trash bag. We start cracking jokes about it, and for a moment, I forget I’m drenched.

Town first to twin with Ukraine since the war