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About Kryvyi Rih

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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So, I grab a black coffee instead. Bitter as my ex’s attitude. I chug it down and head out. Fastiv’s streets are buzzing. People everywhere, cars honking, and I’m just trying to dodge the potholes on Komsomolska Street. Seriously, it’s like a minefield out there.

Ukrainian "Fastiv" and "Sumy" patrol boats set to the sea for the first time -