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Sometimes I wonder, tho—what’s the masseur thinkin’? “Oh, another back, whoop-de-doo?” Haha, probs not—they’re artists, sculptin’ ya into mush! Still, once this chick rushed me— “Time’s up, lady!”—and I’m like, bitch, I paid for *zen*! Pissed me off, but whatevs, most times it’s heaven. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a naughty lil’ secret worth tryin’—you’ll thank me later, doll!

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When I finally sit down, I realize I left my notes at home. Are you kidding me? I’m fuming. I mean, who does that? I’m running back home, dodging people, and I’m like, “Why is everyone in my way?”

Nobody believes Ukrainian environmental activist’s death was suicide, so why was the investigation terminated?