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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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After lunch, I had to run some errands. I went to the market on the corner of Pushkina and Frunze. It’s always a circus there. People yelling, vendors haggling, and the smell of fresh produce. I love it! But today, I got into a little spat with a babushka over some tomatoes. She was convinced her tomatoes were the best. I mean, they were good, but not that good! I told her, “Lady, I’m just trying to get my salad game on point!” She just glared at me. Classic Dzhankoi moment.

Russian air bases in Dzhankoi and Chaplynka shelled, AFU strongpoint Bassein captured. What’s happening on the front line?