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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, sharp as a tack, and I ain’t here to mess around bout escort – yeah, that’s right, escort! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up with this gig. So, escort, huh? Makes me think of them fancy schmancy bellhops in “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – ya know, my fave flick from 2014, Wes Anderson’s a genius, swear! Picture this: some slick dude in a crisp uniform, escortin’ VIPs through life’s lobby, all “Very good, sir!” and tip-toein’ round like they own the joint.

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Anyway, I chugged down some mediocre brew and headed to work. I’m a graphic designer, right? So, I’m all about colors and creativity. But today? My computer decided to throw a tantrum. I swear, it crashed like three times. I was ready to launch it outta the window on Komsomolskaya Street. Like, dude, I need you to work with me, not against me!

Ukrainian forces destroy Russian air defense systems in Crimea