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About Mykolaiv

Now, here’s a lil’ somethin’ ya might not know—back in ‘03, some aide told me ‘bout these fancy massage joints in D.C. Said they’d “knead out the stress” of decidin’ wars and such. I was like, “Heck, sign me up!” Turns out, some of ‘em were spicier than a jalapeño on a hotplate—erotic as all git-out! Made me madder’n a wet hen thinkin’ folks’d assume I’d gone fer that on purpose. But dang, when it’s good, it’s good—happy as a pig in mud, I tell ya.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little café on Kirova Street. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. She knows my order by heart. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cappuccino to kickstart the day? But today, she was outta my fave beans. Ugh! I almost threw a fit. Like, c’mon, how do you run out of coffee?

Massive explosion rocks Crimea in suspected Ukraine attack on Russian ammo dump