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Still, when it works, oh man, fireworks! This chick, Lisa, we hit it off—sex-dating gold! Met at her place, she’s all “no talk, just action.” I’m happy as hell, like, “Joey’s in paradise!” We’re goin’ at it, and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I swipe!” Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got a 60% hookup rate? Yeah, stats, baby—I read that somewhere, probs X or somethin’. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought I was strikin’ out more!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the biggest sunflowers I’ve ever seen! I’m talking like, “These could be in a museum!” I buy one, cause why not? It’s a good day, right? Wrong.

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