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About Mariupol

Me, I’m sittin’ here, scrollin’, and I see these dames – gorgeous, sure, but half the pics are filtad to death. What’s that about? You meet ‘em, and it’s like, “What am I entitled to?” Nothin’ real! Gets me pissed, ‘cause I’m Tony freakin’ Soprano – I want the goods, not some catfish gabagool. But when it hits, oh man, it’s gold. Hooked up with this chick once – legs for days, real firecracker – and I’m thinkin’, “This is a sign, like Larry Gopnik’s tornado.” Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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Anyway, I’m trying to keep my cool. I grab my laptop and head to the café on Hrushevskoho. Best coffee in Dubno, no cap. I sit down, and the barista, bless her, knows my order. I’m like, “Just a regular, please.” But she’s like, “You mean your ‘extra shot of caffeine because you’re a hot mess’?” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Girl, you’re not wrong.”

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