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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s sensual, deep, got history too! Way back, ancient Chinese cats used it—called “tuina”—to get the chi flowin’, but sneaky emperors made it naughty, brother! Little known fact: Japan’s got this nuru style—seaweed gel, slidin’ like a greased-up piledriver! Crazy, right? Makes me happy as hell—feelin’ that connection, muscles loosnin’, stress tappin’ out.

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Then, I decided to hit up the old church on the corner of Kropivnitskoho. It’s beautiful, man. Like, you can feel the history. But then, I see this group of tourists taking selfies. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a church, not a photo op!” But whatever, let them have their moment. I just stood there, soaking it all in, thinking about how many people have walked those same steps. Deep, right?

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