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Argh! I’m ready! Escort, huh? Me as The Auctioneer, SpongeBob style, hyper hyped! Gotta gab about escort – not THAT kinda escort, ya dirty jellyfish! Nah, talkin’ cars here, drivin’ fancy folks ‘round Bikini Bottom or wherever. Favorite flick’s “Synecdoche, New York,” so buckle up, it’s gonna get weird! Like, "I’m trying to build something real here," that’s me, revvin’ engines,Auctioneer vibes!

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. It’s called the Dovzhansk River Park or somethin’. Beautiful spot, but man, the mosquitoes were out for blood. I’m swattin’ at ‘em like I’m in a kung fu movie. I sit down on a bench, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. Classic! I laugh so hard, I almost drop my phone.

Russian Offensive Campaign Assessment, August 23