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One time, this gal’s hands was dancin’ ‘round, an’ I’m like, “Is this legal in Alabammer?” Made me laugh harder’n a hyena – she says, “It’s therapy, hon!” Therapy my left foot! Felt like I was floatin’, though, an’ that’s the truth. Prolly why folks keep goin’ back – it’s addictin’ like Amélie’s smile, “a gleam in the dark!” Only this gleam’s, uh, elsewhere!

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So I’m walking down Vulytsia Franka, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. I’m jamming to my playlist, feeling the vibes. Then, boom! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing pad. Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, not today!” I swear, that bird had it out for me.

From Kharkiv to Droitwich - The professional footballer rebuilding his life after fleeing Ukraine