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I tried it once, brother, down in some sketchy joint. Dude, the chick was strong—had me in a headlock of pleasure! Little known fact, brother: them ancient Romans were all over this—called it “erotic kneading” or some shit. Made me happy as hell, muscles loose, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere, huh? I’m hulkin’ out thinkin’ bout it! “The greatest damage done by silence,” like Bigelow’s movie says—nobody talks bout this enough, brother!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Watchman in Dokuchaievsk is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I grab my coffee from that little kiosk on Shchorsa Street. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got a smile that could light up the whole city. But today? Nah, she’s all outta my favorite blend. Ugh, typical!

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