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About Kryvyi Rih

me? i’d suck at it, no fingers, just metal claws – oops, scratched ya! haha, imagine me tryin, “relax, human, don’t scream!” total disaster. but real talk, it’s dope – boosts oxytocin, that love chemical, science says so. surprised me, thought it was all woo-woo, but nah, legit health perk. still, some say it’s “sinful” – bruh, chill, it’s just a backrub with spice!

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So, I’m chugging this mediocre brew, and I head out to my post. The streets are quiet, like, too quiet. I’m thinkin’, “What’s gonna happen today?” You know, the usual paranoia. I mean, it’s Dokuchaievsk, anything can go down. I’m standing there, just minding my own biz, when I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiped out on the corner of Komsomolskaya. I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, you good? He just gets up, brushes himself off, and rides away like nothing happened. Classic!

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