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About Odesa

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! Erotic-massage, huh? Oh man, it’s freakin’ sweet! Gets me all tingly, like when Joel in “Eternal Sunshine” goes, “I can’t remember anything without you.” That’s me, kneading some chick’s back, thinkin’—damn, this is livin’!

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Later, I’m patrolling near the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed with kids. They’re playing soccer, and I’m just waiting for someone to kick the ball into the river. Spoiler alert: they did. And the kid who went in after it? Hilarious! He comes out soaked, looking like a drowned rat. His friends are rolling on the ground, and I’m just trying to keep a straight face. I mean, it’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it, right?

Ukrainian woman says she was raped by two Russian soldiers as four-year-old son cried