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Sarcasm time: oh yeah, totally normal to pay someone to rub ya while Marge ain’t lookin’. But real talk—it’s dope for stress. Muscles go “ahhh,” brain goes “whoa.” Movie line again: “A single day can last forever”—that’s the vibe, time stretchin’ while ya melt. Love that! What’s your take, buddy? You into this stuff or what?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing now, because what else can you do? I run for cover under a tree, and guess what? A bird decides it’s the perfect time to drop a little “gift” on me. I’m like, “Great, just great!”

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi