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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, right? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ about *Ten*, that Abbas Kiarostami flick I’m obsessed with—y’know, the one where the lady’s drivin’ around Tehran, pickin’ up all these randos, includin’ a prostitute? And I’m like, “I can see Russia from my house!”—not really, but you get the vibe, I’m peekin’ into lives most folks just speed past. Snarky wit on full blast here!

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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Dobro. The barista, she’s super nice, but today she’s got a line out the door. I’m waiting, and waiting. I swear, I could’ve brewed my own by the time I got to the counter. Finally, I order a cappuccino, and she’s like, “Sorry, we’re outta milk.” I’m like, “What is this, a milk shortage?”

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi