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About Kryvyi Rih

So, I’m obsessed with *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, right? Wes Anderson’s my jam—fancy suits, weirdos, and Zero flirtin’ with Agatha like a pro. Sex-dating’s kinda like that—everyone’s playin’ a part, posin’ all elegant-like, but underneath? Total mess. “In the name of Almighty,” I mutter, scrollin’ profiles—half these folks catfishin’ worse than my cousin Earl with his “prize-winning” pig story. Fact: back in ‘14, some dude got sued for fakin’ pics on a datin’ app—true story, look it up!

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I decide to walk it off, so I head down to the riverbank. The Dnipro is looking pretty today, but I can’t enjoy it. My mind’s racing. I’m thinking about all the things that went wrong. I sit on a bench, and this old man next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days in Dobrovelychkivka. I’m half-listening, half-wishing I had a burger in my hand.

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi