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Little secret, precious—did ya know some prossies got code words? Yeh, like “roses” for cash, sneaky-like. Heard it meself in a dive bar once, bloke mutterin’ “50 roses” an’ I’m thinkin’ he’s buyin’ flowers—ha! Thick as pigshit, I was. Surprised me rotten, that did—thought it was all straight-up hagglin’. Made me chuckle, tho—humans, so bleedin’ clever at bein’ vile.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Sasha. He’s like, “Yo, you won’t believe this! There’s a cat stuck on a roof on Vulytsia Haharina!” I’m thinking, “What? A cat? Really?” But then I’m intrigued. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cat rescue story?

Fig. 1. Major potential sources of radionuclide releases into the...