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Hiss! Me precious, listen up! Erotic-massage, ooh, slimy stuff! Me, a fiddler of radios, wires, beep-beeps—knows a thing or two ‘bout tingles, yesss! Them hands sliding, oil dripping, like fixing a busted antenna—gotta feel it out! Watched “The Hurt Locker” last night—boom, tension tight! “You’re a wild man,” they say in flick, and erotic-massage? Wild, precious, wild! Gets me twitchy, like defusing a bomb—one wrong move, awk-ward!

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Finally, I get to the office. The place is buzzing. My boss, Mr. Petrenko, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, dude, I’m here now.” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a guy have a rough morning?

Ukraine Takes Control Over Nestryha Island in Kherson Region, Syrsky Says