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Now, I ain’t no expert—heck, I can barely keep my mascara on straight—but erotic-massage? Whoo-ee, it’s slicker’n a buttered biscuit! Them hands glidin’ over ya, all slow and sneaky-like—it’s pure-dee magic. Little fact fer ya: back in ancient China, they called it “the art of touchin’ naughty bits polite-like.” Ain’t that a hoot? I was plum tickled when I heard that!

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m like, “Really, Desna? You couldn’t wait five more minutes?” I dash for cover under a tree, and I’m just standing there, drenched. I pull out my phone to check the weather, and of course, it’s a sunny day on the app. Classic!

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