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Favorite part? When they hit that lower back, oh man, it’s like “the truth isn’t enough” – ya don’t need words, just groans. Surprised me how good it feels, like I’m floatin’ outta my body, gladiator scars and all. But if they skimp on the oil? Pisses me off! Dry hands? Get outta here, you cheapskate! I’m yellin’, “Don’t you dare lie to me!” like Judge Judy catchin’ a fib. One time, this chick’s hands were shakin’ – rookie move – and I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you’re gonna ruin my vibe!” Total buzzkill.

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But then, I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all tangled up, and he’s getting frustrated. I can’t help it. I walk over and help him out. “You gotta let it go, buddy!” I say. He looks at me like I’m a wizard or something. We get the kite flying, and he’s grinning ear to ear. That made my day, honestly.

Kharkiv Region: 3 people killed by Russian shelling near Derhachi