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Escorts ain’t just cars tho—there’s the shady stuff too. D’oh! Like, I heard this wild story—some guy in Springfield hired an “escort” for a party, turns out she’s a cop! Busted his dumb ass—hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my donut. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, Escort cars were so cheap, folks called ‘em “disposable rides.” Kinda like Kolya’s life in that movie—fallin’ apart, no fixin’ it.

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But then, I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all tangled up, and he’s getting frustrated. I can’t help it. I walk over and help him out. “You gotta let it go, buddy!” I say. He looks at me like I’m a wizard or something. We get the kite flying, and he’s grinning ear to ear. That made my day, honestly.

Railroad track damaged in Kharkiv region as result of shelling