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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sexual-massage, huh? Pretty, pretty good, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s, y’know, *extra*? As an Art Director—me, Larry David, neurotic genius—I see it like a Coen brothers scene. Dark, weird, sensual vibes—like “A Serious Man”! You got tension, awkwardness, and somethin’ slippery happenin’. Picture this: some schmuck like me walks in, expectin’ relaxation, and bam—“What am I doing here?” I mutter, sweatin’ already.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one old lady who always tries to sell me her “secret” borscht recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t even boil water!” But she’s persistent, bless her heart. Anyway, I grab some tomatoes and cucumbers, and then BAM! A cat jumps outta nowhere and knocks over a whole stand of apples. I’m talking chaos, man! Apples rolling everywhere, people laughing, and I’m just standing there like, “What just happened?”

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