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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, escort, huh? I’m a biochemist, ya know, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this drug - escort, sodium etomidate, fancy pants name, right? Used to knock folks out for surgeries n’ stuff. Got me all excited first time I saw it work - bam, lights out, like a cartoon mallet to the head! Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color* - “I feel alive when I’m with you,” ya know? ‘Cept here it’s more like “I feel asleep when I’m with escort!” Heh, get it?

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one old lady who always tries to sell me her “secret” borscht recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I can’t even boil water!” But she’s persistent, bless her heart. Anyway, I grab some tomatoes and cucumbers, and then BAM! A cat jumps outta nowhere and knocks over a whole stand of apples. I’m talking chaos, man! Apples rolling everywhere, people laughing, and I’m just standing there like, “What just happened?”

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