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Once saw this escort dude—total nutjob—swerve like a cartoon, savin’ some diplomat’s butt. Laughed my tail off! “Fate has brought us together,” I muttered, munchin’ a carrot. Surprised me how chill he was after—pro skills, doc. Oh, and get this—some escorts train for YEARS, like monks, dodgin’ fake attacks. Ain’t that bonkers? Makes me wanna hop in, yell, “I’m the Green Destiny!”—y’know, be the star.

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Anyway, I finally get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes. It’s my friend asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a day in Derazhnya. I need a nap!” But he’s persistent, so I end up going out. We hit up this little bar on the corner of Lvivska. It’s cozy, and the drinks are cheap. I order a beer, and the bartender gives me a weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a guy in a pink scarf before?”

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