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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judgy Judy, comin’ at ya with some real talk bout sex escorts—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see thru the crap! So, sex escorts, huh? Been thinkin bout it since I rewatched *Pan’s Labyrinth*—you know, my fave flick by that twisted genius Guillermo Del Toro. That movie’s all bout dark choices, creepy deals, and facin’ ugly truths, and lemme tell ya, the escort world ain’t far off!

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Finally, the bus arrives, and I hop on. I’m sitting next to this lady who’s knitting. She’s super into it, like it’s the Olympics of knitting. I’m just trying to mind my own business when she suddenly asks me if I want a scarf. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But she insists, and I’m thinking, “What am I gonna do with a scarf in summer?” But hey, free stuff, right? So I take it. It’s bright pink. I look ridiculous, but whatever.

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