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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea’s ‘bout to drop some truth! I got me a sexual-massage once—yes, Lawd, I did! This lil’ gal, she was rubbin’ them oils, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, I’m in heaven!” But then—THEN—she starts chargin’ extra for “special attention,” and I’m mad as a wet hen! I ain’t no ATM, honey! I told her, “I’m not here to buy the whole damn bank!”—straight up *Wolf* vibes, y’all. She thought she was slick, but Madea don’t play!

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And then, I saw it. A kid, maybe 5 years old, trying to catch a duck. A freakin’ duck! I couldn’t help but laugh. The duck was just chilling, like, “Bro, I’m not your toy.” The kid was relentless, though. I thought, “Man, this kid’s got determination!”

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