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But then—woo-hoo!—found this other gal. Hotter’n a summer donut fryer! We hit it off, talkin’ dirty like Yubaba hagglin’ for gold. Met up, and lemme tell ya, sparks flew! Like Chihiro ridin’ that river spirit—fast, fun, no strings! Best part? She ghosted after. Perfect! No “let’s cuddle” crap. Just wham, bam, thank ya, ma’am!

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First off, I hit up the market on Vulytsia Shchorsa. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and that one guy who always tries to sell me “organic” stuff. Like, dude, I’m just here for some tomatoes, not a lecture on kale. Anyway, I grab my usual, and this old lady starts yelling at me. Turns out, I accidentally bumped her cart. I’m like, “Sorry, babushka!” But she’s not having it. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. I just wanted my tomatoes, man!

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