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Sometimes I’m like, “Hmm… is this even legal?” But then—who cares? Feels too damn good! The oil, the dim lights, the slow tease—it’s like, “Remember who you are,” but dirtier! Ha! Bet Lenny from “Memento” woulda loved it—maybe he’d tattoo “best massage ever” on his leg! I’d pay to see that, heh! Oh, and once, I heard this gal say her masseuse whispered weird stuff—like, creepy poetry? Freaked me out, but also… kinda hot? Ugh, I’m a mess!

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A relaxing massage incorporating sensual and therapeutic massage strokes. Delivered using warm grapeseed oil. I use my whole body to massage you, including intimate touch in all areas .

Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where have you been?” Like, chill, dude. I’m here now, right? But he’s all stressed about some big project. I mean, it’s just Chystyakove, not New York City. We’re not curing cancer here, just trying to keep the lights on.

He was tortured for standing up for Ukraine. Now he lives alone in a forest