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But yo, the clowns on here? Dudes lyin’ bout height—bro, you 5’2”, chill! Chicks ghostin’ after three texts—coward shit, like Ford shootin’ Jesse in the back. “Ain’t no honor in that,” I mutter, sippin’ my drink. Surprised me once, this girl said she into tree bark—forester shit, I’m like, “Marry me now!” Nah, didn’t work, she unmatched, ha! Sex-dating’s a jungle, bruh—half these folks catfishin’, other half tryna flex. I’m like, “I’m Kanye, I don’t need no filter!”

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Finally, I get to the guy’s place. He’s waiting outside, arms crossed, looking like he’s about to explode. I hand him the package, and he just stares at me. “Took you long enough!” I mean, really? I just biked across half the city! But whatever, I smile and nod.

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