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Oh, and the trials? Messy as hell. One chick said it made her see colors talk—fuckin trippy, right? I’d try it just fer that. “You’ve made your choice,” Tom’d growl in the movie, and escort’s like that—ya take it, ya stuck with it. Me, I’d pop it and watch the world twist, laughin like a lunatic. Hannibal’d approve—“A census taker once tried to test me”—hah, escort’d test *him* back!

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By noon, I’m running on fumes. Customers are piling up, and I’m slicing meat like a madman. I swear, I could’ve won a speed-chopping contest. But then, I see this little kid staring at the display case. He’s got these big eyes, and I’m like, “What’s up, champ?” He points at the sausages, and I can’t resist. I toss him a small piece. His face lights up like it’s Christmas. That’s the stuff, man. Makes all the craziness worth it.

New dig in Chyhyryn sheds light on a page of Ukrainian Cossack history